(k)erimenopause

One broad's reluctant journey to the dark side of womanhood.

You don’t know what you don’t know… and sometimes that sucks. February 14, 2011

Filed under: Things that bug me — kerimenopause @ 11:18 am

I am pondering the line from the movie “Mean Girls” today…

“And evil takes a human form in [fill in your own nemesis here]. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that.”

Why? You ask, when clearly my tween/teen days are behind me… waaayyy behind me.  Well, I find it particularly relevant today as a dear friend of mine has shared some of the horrors her beautiful daughter is having to endure in Middle School.  Of course this also brought back some really ugly memories of my own – I wasn’t the Mean Girl in Middle School… but I sure knew a few!  For a time in High School, I was not particularly nice… but, when that tactic still didn’t make me popular, I gave up and just became a fun girl. Some may say a ‘party’ girl… but that I must deny.

Back to my friend’s daughter… This girl is stunningly beautiful.  She is exceptionally smart. She is a top-notch athlete.  She has a huge heart filled with compassion. So why is she being treated so poorly?  Really, why?  Just re-read all highlighted sentences.  It’s the exact same reasons grown women crap on each other all the time.  (I know ‘crap’ is such an ugly word… but, what can I say, I really like that word!)

Girls are mean, we know that.  Girls are jealous, we know that.  Girls are insecure, we know that.  It is what this girl (the victim) and those girls (the wretched little snots) don’t know, that is causing me pause today.

What they don’t know, may never know, may not care to know… which are incidentally the same things their 30-50 yr old counterparts don’t know, may never know, and may not care to know:

  • Every rotten thing they say or do WILL come back to bite them in the ass eventually.
  • Be a bully today, and you will probably be the victim tomorrow.
  • Being in, and being out changes as often as the weather.
  • ONE really good friend is better to have than being in the middle of a pack of simpletons.

My friend said something so very, very wise regarding this situation and her daughter.  “She has to walk this journey… (she) will encounter this ugly beast along the way.”  Admirable.

She also said, “I’m so pissed, I could spit nails.” That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

We all know at least one.

 

Blame it on Decaf August 19, 2010

Filed under: Things that bug me — kerimenopause @ 10:36 am

Today, just like every other day, I went down to my kitchen and was immediately annoyed by the espresso machine sitting on the counter. This is one of those small ones that has a very nice, secure home inside the cupboard – mainly because having cluttered counters also annoys me.

As I was putting it away (again) and not-so-gently closing the cupboard door, I was asking myself (again) why is it impossible for my husband to put away the espresso machine when he’s done. I mean, the spot for it is literally a foot above the counter. Then I had the most amazing epiphany! He doesn’t leave it out to purposely get under my skin. Maybe, in fact, he leaves it out so I can share in the coffee duties. You see, he gets up every morning, goes into the kitchen, pulls down that espresso machine, grinds fresh beans, makes me an Americano, and delivers it to me in bed along with the daily paper.

Oh, just stop right there, I know what you’re thinking. ‘How can she complain when she has such a nice husband? I wish MY husband would do that.’ And their lies the very essence of my dilemma. Really, how can I be angry or annoyed? Well, sit back, ’cause there is more to this story. You see my darling husband is akin to a National Treasure. (start violin music here) He has a tremendous fan base who will go to their death claiming he is the nicest man on the planet. (pause for opening of the heavens) He is ridiculously talented, but remains kind in a business that can be anything but warm and fuzzy (TV). He once made Mother’s Day dinner for three of my friends because their husbands were traveling. (and cue the angles singing). He volunteers at our son’s school. He walks my mom to the gate when she flies. I mean, come on, this is THEE Mr. Nice Guy.

So, again, why or how could I possibly ever be critical, angry, annoyed? Really? Because living together is HARD! Everyone of you know 24-7 is a long time to be charming, sweet, perfect. And besides, you’ve never seen his feet!

OK, back to the point. My real issue of the moment is why am I more annoyed than usual! I could just blame it on my natural bitchiness that rears its ugly head from time to time. Or I could ride the ‘peri-menopause’ wave and put the blame there. As an aside, does anyone know how long one can actually get away with using that as an excuse? I’d like to know.

Before I invested too much time on this issue of national security.. just as clearly as if written on the wall in front of me, it comes to me. I blame the decaf. You see, as perfectly delicious as my husband is, he only serves decaf. I think it is his way of keeping us healthy. And it is decaf with no milk or cream for me, because months ago I said I’m giving up dairy. And you thought he was perfect…

Alas, I couldn’t even enjoy my realization over a steaming cup of black decaf – this generous coffee-making thing is a one cup of deal with him, . But then again, about that time the dog peed on the carpet… and the door was literally one foot in front of her.

 

 
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