(k)erimenopause

One broad's reluctant journey to the dark side of womanhood.

Crap, now I have to do it for the kid June 14, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — kerimenopause @ 1:28 pm
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I’ve talked about this before so it is no secret  that I have been on every diet ever conceived or written about. I am a lover of before and after pictures.  Ironically, I actually have had a great deal of success on many diets.  I just haven’t had long-term success.  And here’s why:

I am excited to start.  I plan and figure and calculate.  I pinpoint important dates and project where I will be on that date if I continue my program.  I always lose 10-12 lbs.  The clothes start to fit better.  My husband notices.  I feel sexier. He benefits. I buy cuter clothes.  Then the drudgery of the daily dealings of portion control, working out, etc. start to take a toll.  And then it happens, and almost always the same way, just a handful of Wavy Lays… how can it hurt?  Next… the mind games: “Only the folded over curved Wavy Lays” (you’d be surprised how many are in a bag).  Then, it’s the self-talk: “Oh, who cares I look fine the way I am.”  And, well, you can guess the rest… out come the fat clothes from the back of the closet again.  It is a little known fact that chronic dieters never, ever give away the fat clothes… just in case.

Here I am again embarking on another get fit/get slim adventure.  But this time it is different. This time it isn’t just about me.  This time I have to be successful because my son is watching.  Recently, he has started to make comments that he is fat.  Sadly, he has realized that maybe he inherited more of his mom’s genes than his skinny dad’s and he’s going to have to work on NOT getting fat.  I recognize that belly of his and I don’t want him to live the same cycle as I have.  And, I don’t want to be my mother (God love her) to him.  I’ve never known my mom to NOT be on a diet.  The size of my waist, thighs, ass are of constant concern to her, which she is none to quick to comment upon – as she does with my three sisters.

It occurred to me today that perhaps mom views my full-figure status as a failure of hers rather than my weak-willed, potato-loving self.  Had she taught me more about nutrition and less about dieting, would I be in this fix now?  I don’t know and it’s too late to blame it on mom.  Just as it is too late to all it baby fat – considering my ‘baby’ is 14.

Here’s what I do know:  I don’t want my son to spend his life basing his self-worth on his belly size.  So today we embark on a new venture… one where my success with be judged by how my son’s self-image is formed. Time to be a healthy inspiration to the kid.  If that isn’t motivation… I don’t know what is.

 

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